Dramaturgy Round One

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Assuming your script in early drafts is even worth reading, the feedback that you are most likely to receive from your dramaturge (assuming your dramaturge is even worth their salt) is: "There is too much exposition and not enough conflict." That is what my husband Mike Lewis has told me about the beginning of DERMALIAN. In my heart of hearts, I know this is true and I believe the biggest problem that I have to resolve before I rewrite the scenes at the beginning is the flatness and 2-dimensionality of Captain Barack. He reveals little personality until the middle of screenplay, when it shown he is easily intimidated by smart plasma technology and he always has to ask Dr. Jane when his quirky Interspace device is quirking. Also, it's shown in his conferences with his superiors, that he is nervous and overly formal, which amuses Sub-Commander Pearce and amuses her even more when she tells him to relax and he can't. Most importantly, Captain Barack has been seen the Shakespearean ReEnactor's entire repertoire of Solo Shakespeare–he is a big fan who goes goofy every time he encounters the ReEnactor on the space ship, even though the ReEnactor is in a sleepwalking coma and is completely unaware of him. With that much humanness going on inside that plasma suit of his, I should be able to raise the stakes for him in his first scenes. DERMALIAN by Sylvia Toy. Co-Producer Michael Lewis. Composer Anne Coroller Germanique. Aliens long after humans, who having discovered the ruins of the New York Public Library & becoming enamored of humans, establish the Ruins of the NYPL archaeological site & investigate why humans became extinct. You can make a donation to the project through our fiscal sponsor Women Make Movies: https://www.wmm.com/sponsored-project/dermalian/. Many thanks to donors Roxanne Claire, “Empathy”, Francesca Fini, David Griess, Mrs. Pippi Konstanski and Daniel O'Reilly. #femalefilmmakers #scifi #empathy #environment #plasticpollution #chromakey #greenscreen #animation

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